


To Come Alive Again

by mostlyocs, thief (mostlyocs)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Amnesiac Mollymauk Tealeaf, Gen, Genderfluid Mollymauk Tealeaf, He's just not with the Mighty Nein, He's not dead I refuse, Mollymauk Tealeaf Comes Back, Mollymauk Tealeaf Lives, That way I can pretend he's still alive while I watch Critical Role, Yes I'm late to the party but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21734404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlyocs/pseuds/mostlyocs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlyocs/pseuds/thief
Summary: Spring is a time of new beginnings. It only makes sense his heart would start beating again now. (A Molly lives fic, I'm very late to the party I know).
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf & Original Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	To Come Alive Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is most likely gonna be a oneshot that won't intersect with the actual plot at all. I just want Molly to theoretically be alive and happy and maybe even have friends! It's just "off screen" so we don't see it. I use my ocs (and thus some racial traits are... tweaked) and mostly my rules for godly interaction.

Spring is a time of new beginnings. The fields on the side of a lonely road turned to thick mud trying to absorb the massive snowmelt. The stick marking a certain grave started to list in the unstable ground and eventually was pushed over by the barest hint of an alien plant. Fortunately, the bright coat that once adorned it had long since been taken by a passing caravan. It kept a child warm, in the form of a quilt, even now. The thought might’ve once given its former owner a smile, but it now meant nothing. It meant nothing still, even as the heart in that grave began to beat again.

* * *

Bennie huffed out a sigh and tried again to balance a handstand against the uneven swaying of the wagon. Xe failed and nearly fell into the muddy road. The lanky half-orc beside xir managed to yank Bennie back just in time before returning his hands to the reigns. Instead of a facefull of mud, Bennie smacked hard into the wooden bench above the horses.

Xe groaned loudly scrambled to sit properly before xe actually fell off. “C’mon Fletch, what was that for,” Bennie whined. Xe could practically hear Fletch rolling his eyes as xe rubbed xir jaw and groaned some more. “You’re our lookout, maybe try doing your job instead of headstands?” Bennie huffed and pouted. “But Fletch it’s so boring! All there is to see is mud and some rocks. Besides, if something’s coming I’d definitely be able to hear all the squelching noises it’ll make even before I see it!” Fletch sighed. “Can you at least pretend you’re looking? For mine and Tilley’s piece of mind?” Bennie groaned loudly before relenting with another huff. Xe sat up properly on the bench and started scanning the road and surrounding fields.

Bennie’s eyes squinted into the distance but all xe could see was a monotonous stretch of mud. Xe idly wondered how much snow needed to melt to make everything so muddy. Bennie resisted the urge to squirm or sigh and tried to keep xir focus on the road. It didn’t work. Hill after hill passed and Bennie’s gaze started to glaze over. Just as xe was about to drift off, though, something caught xir eye.

There was a figure by one of the hills. It was muddy and perfectly still and _interesting_. Finally. Bennie perked up and jumped off the cart to run towards the figure. They didn’t react to the noise of Bennie running through the mud or the noise of the cartless horses following xir. They just stared at the ground, waist deep in the mud. Bennie knelt beside the figure and waved a hand in front of their face. “Hello? Friend? Can you hear me?” The muddy figure, which Bennie now realized was a tiefling, didn’t respond. Bennie tried a few more times to get the tiefling’s attention, but nothing seemed to work. Someone slid down from one of the horses that had stopped behind Bennie. There was a hand on xir shoulder. “Try asking for their name,” Penny’s voice suggested. Bennie nodded and took a deep breath, feeling xir magic thrum on the back of xir tongue. Xe held xir hand out in a beckoning gesture. “Tiefling friend, will you give me your name?”

Bennie felt the magic hook in to the strange tiefling. It was working. Hopefully, this would shake them out of their trance. If not, then maybe someone calling their name would help. The tiefling opened their mouth to speak and Bennie could see their teeth were stained by mud. Strange. Xe waited with baited breath but words didn’t come out of the tiefling’s mouth. Their lips flapped, then there was a strangled sound that could have been Holli or maybe Molli before the tiefling bent forward and puked up a mixture of mud and blood with a gurgle. 

Bennie cried out as the tieflings hands curled into fists in the mud, grasping for support that wasn’t there. The tiefling started to breathe again. It was only after they started to breathe that Bennie noticed they hadn’t been breathing before. Bennie took a deep breath and started up a stream of soothing babble. The tiefling’s breath was ragged and uneven so xe pressed their hand to xir chest in hopes the tiefling would copy xir breaths. It seemed to work. Penny pulled the strange tiefling up out of the ground. They started to wobble and Tilley grabbed a thick branch from the nearby ground and wrapped their hand around it. Slowly, the group made their way back to the cart on the road with Bennie leading.

Faye refused to let anyone into the cart without casting prestidigitation to clean everyone. Kati hauled the tiefling inside. Bennie followed and Faye took xir place as lookout instead. Tilley jogged back to get the horses and, once everyone was situated, the little group continued on their way.

* * *

Later that night, after the sun had set and they’d all made camp, Tilley pulled Bennie aside. Her mask was pulled away from her face, so Bennie knew she wanted to have a serious conversation. “What are we doing with the tiefling?” Bennie’s darkvision was the only thing that let xir see Tilley’s features expressing a question rather than a statement. Xe resisted the urge to bristle, Tilley always had reasons for asking questions that seemed callous. She often considered things Bennie forgot or disregarded. Still, Bennie couldn’t quite keep the coldness out of her voice when she responded, “they travel with us. The Lady had me make a coat for him, isn’t that sign enough?” Bennie gestured over to the fire where the tiefling sat on a stone across from Kitty. They clutched an obnoxiously colourful coat around their shoulders. Bennie had been working on the thing for weeks because of a gut instinct. 

Tilley’s shoulders slumped in a sigh and she flexed her hands in a nervous tic. “What about _food_ ,” she reasoned, signing food a little sharper than normal for emphasis, “what about money? Can we afford to take care of them?” Bennie took a deep breath. Tilley’s questions were legitimate, practical. They all couldn’t help this tiefling unless they could help themselves. Still xe wouldn’t give up on xir proposition just yet. “We can’t just leave them to fend for themself, though. They can’t even really talk. We’ve been able to get them a little more responsive. They look at someone speaking to them now and even seem to understand the words a little, but they still wouldn’t say anything but the word hollow in a horribly blank tone of voice…” 

“I’m not suggesting we leave them on the side of the road alone, but they’re obviously not well. Maybe they’d be better off with clerics in a place that can really understand what’s going on with them.” Bennie stiffened and Tilley knew she’d crossed a line. “I am a cleric, Matilda,” xe replied frostily, “and I’m not sending them to an asylum. Those places are horrible and they don’t help anyone.” Matilda flinched at the reminder that the systems she put so much faith in didn’t always work. He had to concede Bennie’s point, though. He nodded to Bennie and xe relaxed enough to smile. “I think we should give them a nickname so we have something to call them other than ‘the tiefling’! Hey Tilley, what do you think of the name Holli?” Matilda shrugged. “Why holly?” He used the sign for the plant instead of spelling the name with letter signs. “Well, when we found them in the mud I asked their name and they said something like Holli or maybe Molli before they choked up all that mud and Holli kinda sounds like hollow so there’s that connection!” Matilda smiled, a brief twitch of her lips. “Maybe try asking them?” Bennie blinked, apparently the option hadn’t occurred to xir. Xe grabbed Matilda’s hand and dragged him over to the fire.

Bennie plopped down and dragged Kitty into xir lap, interrupting her mid story. Matilda laughed and sat down beside the tiefling. Kitty abandoned her story and hoisted herself to sit on Bennie’s shoulders before flicking xir nose as xe giggled. The tiefling watched blankly. Bennie cupped xir hands around xir mouth and used thaumaturgy to amplify xir voice. “Group meeting everyone!” Penny finished setting up the last tent and wandered over with Fletch and Faye. Faye made a point of rolling her eyes at Bennie. “Thanks for letting everyone in the entire field know we’re here.” Bennie shook off the goblin’s sarcasm with a laugh. “If anyone tries to do anything we’re strong enough to chase ‘em off.” 

“Just because I can fight before bed doesn’t mean I want to.”

“Wow Faye, sounds kinda lazy.”

“Just because you seem to have boundless energy doesn’t mean the rest of us do, kid.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m older than you, _kid_.”

“Experience counts more than time spent living, **_kid_**.”

"How about we get to the subject of the group meeting Bennie called?” Fletch interrupted the familiar argument before Bennie could come up with some equally nonsensical response. He smiled calmly and returned to cooking dinner under Faye’s disgruntled stare. Bennie leapt up and Kitty just barely managed to stay on xir shoulders. Xe clapped xir hands. “Right! We have to introduce everyone to our newest group member!” Kitty nodded. “I’ll start.” She grinned and pointed at Bennie. “This is Bennie, xe thinks xe can manhandle me just because I’m a gnome. Oh, they’re also the world’s weirdest cleric.” Bennie pouted. “My moms don’t think I’m weird!” Matilda snorted and rolled his eyes. “They don’t! You all are just mean!” Faye patted Bennie’s calf in mock sympathy. “It’s okay Bennie, I still love you.” Bennie threw xir hands up, finally dislodging Kitty. “Okay! We’re moving on!” 

Bennie gestured to Kitty on the ground. “This is Kati Tabitha Mistë Sahra Leyoot Moose- but we just call her Kitty for short. She’s the world’s meanest and sneakiest rouge.” Bennie pointed to Faye. “This is Faye R. Lee-Pleasant, and she’s a wizard and a goblin which means she can win a fistfight with most gods.” Matilda choked a little, but Bennie moved on to Penny. “This is Penny, he’s a tiefling like you! Also he has a really cool sword. When I say sword I don’t mean dick, by the way.” Penny sighed and Bennie gestured to Matilda. “This is Matilda! He’s an aasimar which is why she looks like an awesome statue! Cooking our dinner is Fletch! We pretend to be siblings a lot and it usually works because nobody here has ever seen a half-orc ever so they think we all look the same.” Finished the introductions, Bennie looked to the hunched over tiefling for a reaction. They looked at Bennie and blinked, face still blank. Bennie’s bright smile dropped. It looked like the comedy routine hadn’t done anything at all. “H- ol-low,” the tiefling croaked.

Bennie knelt by the tiefling and sighed a little, now wearing a much gentler smile. “I guess that was a bit much? No worries, it doesn’t matter so much if you remember our names. But, we would like to give you one. How do you like Holli?” The tiefling continued to look blankly at Bennie for a little too long before slowly and jerkily nodding. Bennie restrained the urge to cheer patted the tiefling’s knee. “Great! It’s been a long day. How about we eat and then go to bed?” With that, Fletch handed out bowls of stew and everyone dug in. Holli watched the others carefully for a few moments before carefully copying their motions. When food was done, they hashed out who would sleep in each tent and what watch they would take. Bennie quietly left the discussion and led Holli to a tent with the help of their walking stick. “Just lie down Holli. I bet you’re tired.” Holli only did so when Bennie started to guide their arms and legs. Xe fixed the bedroll and tucked Holli in. “I’ll be back in a bit. Sleep well!”

Bennie ducked out of the tent and let out a quiet sigh. Now that the sun had truly set, it was cold enough for xir breath to puff out in a pale cloud. Sure it was spring, but it was early spring. The others were clustered around the fire, making small talk. Kitty caught Bennie’s eye and waved xir over. “You’re taking second watch with Fletch.” Bennie nodded as xe sat down and leaned into Penny’s side. He gently started to play with Bennie’s hair and xe closed xir eyes and relaxed further. “Now that our resident prophet is here,” Faye piped up, “we should figure out where we’re going next.” Bennie chuckled wearily. “Not a prophet, just an annoying little shit.” Faye rolled her eyes. “You talk to gods, don’t you? That’s the definition of a prophet.” Bennie waved a negligent hand. “Whatever. Where are we going next? Does Fletch still want to find his weird death cleric?”

The attention was on Fletch now, but he just shrugged and volleyed it back to Bennie. “You said that finding the cleric would be favourable.” Bennie sighed. “I said the _journey_ would be favourable to us. Maybe the favourable thing was that Faye got to study the Savelier Woods, maybe it was meeting that Firbolg family that took over for Cleric Clay, maybe it was even finding Holli. If you ask me, I think Holli was the favourable thing- I did make a coat for them, after all.” Fletch grimaced. “About Holli…”

“I’m not abandoning them in the next town.”

“I know, I’m not suggesting that. It’s just that Holli’s really unresponsive. What if we get attacked?”

“I’ll stay with them and protect them. I can attack at range. Aside from that, we’ll just have to trust the Lady that nothing too bad will happen.” Fletch nodded, accepting Bennie’s answers, and pulled out a wad of pulpy paper. “Tilley found this in the tapestry Holli was wrapped in. There may be people missing them.”

“Or it could just be part of burial customs they practice,” Kitty piped up, “a group I worked with left notes with fallen members so their souls kept important memories in the afterlife.” Penny hummed. “That would still mean a group is missing Holli, though, since they cared enough to leave a note in the first place.” Kitty blinked. “Didn’t think of that.” Matilda leaned forward so his hands were visible in the firelight. “Is the note legible?” Faye shook her head. “No, and since paper and ink is so delicate, restoring it with magic is impossible.” Bennie hummed in agreement. Kitty chewed her lip. “Does this mean we try to find Holli’s friends?” Faye shrugged. “We don’t have any leads and Holli hasn’t said anything but the word hollow so they won’t be much help.”

“We’re not going to focus on finding whoever buried them right now,” Bennie declared, “let’s wait until they become more responsive and then we can figure out what they’d like to do. Holli’s their own tiefling and they have free will, y’know.” Kitty blinked, almost ashamed. “Sorry… It’s just that they seem so much like a doll right now it’s hard not to make decisions for them.” Bennie sighed. “It’s alright Kitty, just try to remember that before getting swept away in planning Holli’s life.” Xe stood up and Penny’s hands fell away from xir hair. “I should get some sleep.” Fletch nodded and stood as well. “Me too.” The serious aura of the meeting dissipated as Kitty formed a braid train with Matilda and Faye and Penny started to clean his sword.

Bennie ducked into xir shared tent feeling much more confident, only to be met with Holli’s red gaze. Xe sighed. “Didn’t I tell you to sleep, friend?” Holli just blinked and returned to staring at Bennie. Bennie went over to xir bedroll and felt Holli’s eyes track xir. “Were you waiting for me?” No response, not that Bennie had really expected one. Xe rolled over to face Holli and smiled. “It’s okay Holli. I won’t leave you. I’m here in the tent now until it’s my turn to take watch.” Holli finally closed their eyes. After watching their breathing even out, Bennie allowed xirself to fall asleep as well.

* * *

Bennie opened xir eyes to find xe was standing at the mouth of a cave. Around the entrance there grew flowers with such vibrant orange blossoms that they appeared to be almost glowing. The scene was a familiar one. It had featured in many a dream before. It meant xe would be speaking with the Lady. Bennie walked into the cave without hesitation. There were flowers in there as well, and Bennie took the path that grew thickest with them. Xe found the Lady in a chamber carpeted with them and sat across from her. She had taken the form of a halfling man this time, though her skin was still a deep brown and she still had no ears. The Lady’s eyes opened and she ran a hand through her complex braids, smiling. Bennie smiled back. “Greetings, my Lady,” xe signed. The Lady laughed quietly and smoothed Bennie’s choppy hair with maternal gentleness. She pulled back so Bennie could see her hands. “Always so formal, little one. I trust your journey is going well?” Bennie nodded. “I’ve found a recipient for the coat you had me make.” The Lady looked surprised. “That is sooner than I expected.” Bennie smiled. “You aren’t the be all and end all of my path, my Lady. You did that yourself.” The Lady laughed again, louder. “True enough, little one. Now I think I’ll take my leave.” And between one blink and the next, the Lady had vanished.

Bennie rose and turned to leave the cave and saw the Cloak behind xir. His deep green hood was back to reveal his eyeless face as it shifted between every conceivable race. Bennie grinned. “Hey. Come to get me to cause some chaos?” The Cloak chuckled, smooth and deep. “No, child. I merely bring a gift for your new friend.” Bennie raised a brow. “They one of yours?” The Cloak scowled. “No, I… owed someone a favour.” Bennie laughed outright. “Good to know you make good on your promises.” The Cloak scowled deeper. “A broken promise is a shackle still.” Bennie offered a shrug instead of a snappy response, this time. The Cloak handed over an armband of the purest silver Bennie had ever seen. The only decoration to its hammered surface was a delicate cutout of a crescent moon. Bennie took it with a nod. “Any news on your favourite daughter,” Bennie teased. “Make it to the summit and you will meet her.” Bennie nodded once again to the Cloak and brushed passed him, out of the cave.

* * *

Bennie woke up and slowly got up to take xir watch. Unfortunately, the movement woke up Holli. Red eyes looked at xir blankly and Bennie nearly smacked xirself in the face with a silver armband when xe went to run xir fingers through xir hair. Bennie blinked and then smiled. “Hey friend, I’ve got a gift for you.” Holli blinked. Bennie took their hand and placed the delicate piece of jewelry on Holli’s upturned palm. Xe folded their fingers over it into a firm grip. “This is yours now. Take good care of it.” Holli stared at the silver blankly. 

Bennie ducked outside the tent and smiled at Fletch. “Holli got a gift from the Cloak.” Fletch blinked. “Are they one of his?”

“Nope. He said he was doing someone a favour. I didn’t think he would bind himself like that. Have any interesting dreams on your end?”

“Naw. It seems the gods have lost interest in trying to make me their acolyte or something. Perhaps I’ve outlived my use?”

“They’ve probably found someone new.” Fletch nodded in agreement and they passed a chunk of the watch in comfortable silence. It was Bennie who broke it. “Hey Fletch?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think Holli’s case is anything like yours?”

“Not really. It’s obvious Holli had bonds before they died. Tilley found me cocooned in roots, buck naked. That doesn’t speak to many bonds. Also, Holli seems to have at least some muscle memory. Tilley had to teach me how to walk. She says it was like raising a baby. Also, I bet that gift from the Cloak means Holli’s already been claimed. It’s not wildly different but it’s different enough.” Bennie nodded, absorbing the information. “I don’t have guidance on this. Not really. But I know Holli’s supposed to be with us. The Lady confirmed it.” Bennie leaned into Fletch’s side and he wrapped a lanky arm around her. The rest of the watch passed in silence. 

When Bennie ducked back into xir tent to rest before sunrise, xe found Holli curled up around the silver band while fast asleep.

* * *

It took another two and a half days for Holli to start truly responding to their surroundings. However, they stopped speaking entirely. In the beginning, they stuck to following Bennie around, holding onto the folds of xir cloak like a child. Slowly, though, Holli found ways to interact with each member of the group. They liked to hold Faye’s familiar for her when she performed more complex magical experiments. Maideleh took a liking to Holli almost immediately and now perched on their horns almost as often as it perched on Faye’s shoulder.

Holli seemed to find comfort in Penny’s calm and stoic nature. They hung around him the most, next to Bennie. It probably helped that Penny had the habit of explaining what he was doing, and showering anyone near him with casual affection. Holli appeared to soak up the hair ruffles and shoulder pats and twined tails and quiet monologues eagerly. 

Matilda kept her distance, mostly. He did indulge Holli’s fascination with her silver mask and allow them to touch it, though.

Kitty, much to everyone else’s dismay, was teaching Holli to throw knives.

Fletch taught Holli to cook and Holli patted his cheek excitedly whenever he smiled.

Of everyone, however, Holli spent the most time with Bennie. Bennie was the one they shared a tent with. Bennie was the one to help them when they were overwhelmed. Bennie was the one to gently push them to make more decisions for themself each day. Bennie smiled every time Holli demonstrated a new skill or showed casual affection. They slept cuddled together, like siblings are wont to do.

* * *

It was a week and a half after they’d been found in a grave when Holli said their first words. They were all gathered around the fire and Faye was serving dinner when Holli got up and moved to sit beside Penny. Nobody paid it any mind, Holli was almost as close to Penny as they were to Bennie. They waited for a lull in Penny’s conversation with Fletch before offering the other tiefling one of the bands they normally wore on their horns. “For you.” Holli’s voice was soft and raspy and it stopped every other conversation in its tracks. Everyone’s attention was on Holli now.

The air was undeniably tense. Everyone but Holli knew the reason Penny kept his horns unadorned. He was still in mourning. His town had been massacred. The explosion had killed everyone but him, including his little sister. Fletch laid a tense hand on Penny’s shoulder, but it was unclear for whose comfort it was. 

Bennie watched the whole scene calmly. Xe’d seen Holli earlier that day with Kitty’s hand mirror clutched between their knees. Their tongue was poking out in concentration and their tail was rigid with forced stillness. Holli’d been fiddling with the baubles pierced in their horns and Bennie had put two and two together. Xe knew this would be a turning point. Xe knew Penny didn’t have plans after their revenge mission was complete. Xe hoped that now, with the addition of Holli, he’d find room in his life for more than just revenge.

Penny smiled, soft and sad. “Maybe it _is_ time to move on… just a little.” Fletch relaxed and let out a sigh. Penny bent his head so Holli could slip the simple brass band snugly onto his horn. The cloudy white glass inlay glinted in the firelight. Kitty rocked back and let out a dramatic sigh. “Finally,” she exclaimed, effectively banishing any remaining tension, “do you know how long it took him to even accept the memorial band I made for his town? Holli, you’re a miracle worker!” Holli smiled and Faye laughed. Penny leaned against Fletch with a weary smile.

Matilda slid her mask away from her face and beckoned Holli over. Holli sat down across from her and, slowly, he began to teach them sign language. Bennie smiled. It seems like Holli had finally broken through Matilda’s wary shell. They had a place here, for as long as they would need.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will probably singlehandedly ruin my academic career. Come talk to me on tumblr at anothershittywritingblog


End file.
